An Open When Letter
Open When You Need a Laugh
The letter for the bad week, written in your funniest voice.
Most of the open-when letters are heavy. This one is the antidote — the one that mocks the situation, lists the dumb thing that happened last summer, tells the story they always make you tell. Write it as if you are texting them from across the room.
We mail it on the date you pick. They open it on a day where they were going to need a laugh anyway. The letter does not need to be funny enough; it just needs to remind them you find them funny.
Timing
When to have it arrive
This one rarely comes with an obvious date, so you're choosing between a guess and a known rough patch. Known is better when you have it: the week after a big exam, the first month of a job they're nervous about, tax week, the Monday after daylight saving ends, which is objectively nobody's best day. If you can see the bad stretch on the calendar at least a month away, aim a day or two into it, not the first frantic morning.
No known date? Pick a blah one: mid-February, a random Tuesday in early November, the gray stretch after the holidays when everyone is broke and tired. A guessed date might land on a good week. That's fine. A funny letter on a good week is just a good week with a bonus, and it tends to get stuck on the fridge for the next bad one. Anywhere from one month to two years out works.
Suggested Prompts
What to put inside
Pick one or two. The letter does not need to cover everything. It just needs to be specific.
- — The story they always make you tell at parties
- — The single most embarrassing thing you have done together
- — What the dog would say if it could talk, accurately
- — A genuinely terrible joke that only they would tolerate
- — The phrase you both use that no one else understands
One way to start
You are about to receive the full, unabridged account of the Great Kayak Incident of 2019, because you've been getting away with the short version for too long. To review: you said, and I quote, “I've done this before.” You had not done this before. The kayak knew. The two old men fishing off the dock knew. I believe the heron knew. I'm writing this from my couch and have had to stop twice because I keep picturing your face as the paddle drifted away like it had somewhere better to be.
Skip These
What to leave out
- — Jokes about whatever is probably making the week bad — their boss, their health, their breakup — unless you're certain that's the joke they want.
- — Memes and bits that only work on a screen, because a meme described in words is rarely as funny as the original was.
- — A sincere ending that runs longer than the funny part; three lines of “but seriously” is plenty, and more than that buries the laugh.
Simple Pricing
One payment. No subscription.
$9 digital or $19 handwritten — both arrive sealed on your chosen date.
Frequently Asked
The short version
What is an open-when letter?
A sealed letter labeled with the moment it should be opened — “Open when you miss me”, “Open when you can't sleep”. The tradition started in military families; the format is now used by everyone in any long-distance or high-stress relationship.
How does delivery work?
You write the letter (digital $9 or handwritten $19), pick a future date one month to two years out, and we mail it on the morning of that date. Real envelope, real wax seal, US mail.
What if I am not funny?
Most of the funniest letters are not actually funny — they are specific. Specific is what makes the reader laugh, because they recognize the moment. Forget jokes. Tell them what their dog actually does at 7 PM.
When should I set the delivery?
Most people set this one for a known bad week — first month of a new job, the week of a medical procedure, the deployment date. Two weeks to two years out, whatever you need.
Can I draw in it?
With the handwritten letter, yes. You write it on your own paper and mail it to us, so stick figures, terrible diagrams and a labeled map of the kayak incident all come through exactly as drawn. The digital letter is typed and printed by us, so anything funny there has to work in words alone.
Is it okay to roast them a little?
A little, and only about things they already joke about themselves. The good roast is the time they got lost in a parking garage for forty minutes, not their weight or their ex. The test: would they tell this story about themselves at a party? If yes, go ahead. If you'd hesitate to say it to their face, it won't land better in ink.
Other Open When Letters